The Fruit of Relationship

A year ago, the arrival of a tiny puppy into our household rocked my world.  My entire summer was devoted to caring for and learning to train our new Australian Labradoodle.  The ensuing months continued to be puppy-centric as we persevered in the process of helping our doodle become a member of the family.  Lucy is now officially a dog.  Although there is undoubtedly a good bit of training work still to be done, she has indeed become a member of the family.  There are moments when I miss coming home, scooping her out of her crate, and holding her against my chest like a baby.  On the whole, though, I so appreciate the relationship I have developed with her that I would not choose to return to puppyhood even if I had the chance.  I love where we are, right here, right now.

When a man and woman fall in love, the wonder of the relationship and the excitement of infatuation dominate life.   Research by Christian psychologists suggests that this period is important for the bonding that will lead to a lasting marriage.  But it is also well understood that a couple cannot live in a newly-in-love state on a long-term basis.  Eventually, the honeymoon will be over.  Maturing love begins.   It is then that marriage partners can begin to enjoy the deepening of their relationship as they live life together.

It seems to me that as brothers and sisters in Christ, we can learn from my experience with Lucy and my observation of marriage relationships.  The beginning of relationship is special, sometimes seemingly magical.  But if we don’t move forward into a maturing relationship, we will become increasingly disappointed by and frustrated with our relationships.  As we worship together, pray together, work together, and grow together, we will inevitably go beyond the newness of relationship to the nitty gritty work of becoming one in Christ in spite of our sin and brokenness.  This work may not always feel as good as new relationship felt, but it is well worth the persistent effort that mature relationship requires.

We are now in full summer.  The new, fresh, glorious days of spring are now past.  While Spring was a treat after the winter we had, we have moved on to the fruit-bearing season.   In spring’s place is the season for mature fruit.  The bounty of fresh produce available is a testimony to God’s creative energy as well as a blessing to us.  And the fruit we enjoy now was not available in the glorious days of spring.  May we see our relationships with one another in a similar manner.  Summer is the season of barbeques, pool parties, and walks in the park.  We have lots of opportunities to pursue fellowship with one another.  These relationships may not be as exciting as they once were, but now we have the opportunity to experience the richness of shared experience and the fruit that the Lord is producing in, through, and among us.

Springing Into Joy--Or Not

Spring and early Summer are months filled with celebrations.  Easter arrives, followed by Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  End-of-the-school-year plays and concerts fill our weekday evenings, and graduations and weddings book our weekends.   Baby showers for the surge in babies that are born in summer and early fall complete our social calendar. 

God is good, and there is much to celebrate.  But Spring and early Summer can be like the winter holiday season and remind us of what we have lost.  If we are struggling, Easter makes us wonder where the power of the resurrection is in our life.  If like me you have come from an unhappy and dysfunctional family of origin, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be confusing and painful.  Perhaps you or the young people in your life have opted for substance abuse rather than more wholesome extracurricular pursuits.  Or perhaps you or your son/daughter/nephew/niece/grandson/granddaughter is not only not graduating Summa cum laude from an Ivy League college but is not even graduating from high school “on schedule.”  It is also possible that there is cohabitation rather than marriage or infertility rather than the birth of a special baby.  And then there are the family celebrations that are well-practiced and predictable exercises in dysfunction.

The Apostle Paul calls us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:15).   It is not always easy to rejoice with those who rejoice, to join in the celebration, when we are unable to “feel the love;” or the joy; or the blessing.  It is sometimes easier to withdraw in envy, disappointment, or bitterness.  I believe, though, that sharing the joy of others is vital for our families and communities, and especially our church family.  Doing so provides encouragement and deepens relationship.  It enables our Lord to do His work in us, among us, and through us.

So how do we “join the party” when we feel we have no reason to celebrate?  I would like to offer a few suggestions.

First, it is helpful to remember that courtesy of our sin nature, we are programmed to play the “Garden Game”—the pattern Eve initiated in the Garden of Eden by choosing independence from God over obedience to Him.  The sequel to the Garden Game, the “Compare and Compete Game,” soon follows.  As our attempts to live life and feel good about ourselves by our own efforts to be good fail, we turn to a secondary strategy and feel good at the expense of another: “At least I don’t do that!”  The problem with both games is that they separate us from God and from one another.   We find ourselves alone, and God has said that is not good.

The antidote to the Garden Game and the Compare and Compete Game is to find ourselves in Christ: Our Creator has created us in His image so that we might enjoy a genuine, intimate relationship with Him and participate in His work.  When we turned from Him to pursue independence, He died to make a restored relationship possible and to enable us to partake in who He is and participate in His work.  While it is good to celebrate achievement (which at its best honors the Creator), no performance on our part can add to who we are in Christ.  Really and truly, comparisons with others—who they are, where they go/went to school, how they make a living, what they have or don’t have—is pointless.  We are our Lord’s beloved, just as we are.

It is also helpful to remember that our trials are not unexpected.  Jesus told His disciples that they would have tribulation in the world.  There is no escaping the reality that we are sinners in a sinful world.  We will hurt and be hurt.  Those who celebrate now are not immune to job loss, betrayal by friends and family, and rebellious children.   But our God is a redeeming God.  He has promised that He will work good even in and through the most difficult times in our lives (Rom. 8:28).   Jacob’s son Joseph, whose brothers sold him as a slave, is one of countless examples that Scripture records for us to sustain and encourage us.  Consider Ruth the Moabite, the story of Esther, the man born blind whose sight was restored by Jesus, and the woman caught in adultery.   By God’s glorious goodness, we can be sure that our mourning will most certainly be turned to dancing.

What do we do if we find ourselves dealing with loss in this season of celebration?  I would exhort us to find our identity and value not in our circumstances but in our secure heritage as a beloved child of God.  We can, in faith, depend on God’s redemptive work on our behalf.  Then, we can rejoice with those who rejoice without denying or minimizing our pain and disappointment.   Joining the celebration can then be an affirmation of God’s goodness and give us an opportunity to both give and receive encouragement and to appreciate the fruit of relationship.

Out of the Mouths of Babes—or Grown Children

A couple of weeks ago, our young adult daughter (who lives with us) had a bit of a mishap in our freezer, knocking leftover pizza into the cavern behind its pull-out drawer.  As she looked around for help, I assured her that she was quite capable of solving her problem.  Ruth’s immediate response was to call out loudly, “Daddy, help!”

I will admit that my initial reaction was a critical one: “Why bother Dad when you can do it yourself?”  I fished the errant pizza out of the bottom of the freezer in order to save my long-suffering husband an interruption in his work.  It didn’t take more than a few moments, though, for me to realize that Ruth’s approach has considerable merit.  Her 27 years of experience and relationship with her father had taught her to run to him whenever she had a problem. 

As believers, we have a faith relationship with our heavenly Father that gives us the same privilege.  To be sure, faith is not an excuse for laziness.  God expects and desires us to use the gifts and resources He has given us, and to exercise responsibility before Him.  If we approach this truth with an American spirit of independence, we will find ourselves back in the Garden of Eden with Eve, choosing to live life by our own power and wisdom rather than in dependence upon our Maker.  But walking before Him, exercising our gifts for His purposes and His glory means that we include Him in the adventure. 

I would guess that most believers understand the importance of running to our Father when we are in great need.  We come to Him in prayer when we are sick, injured, unemployed, persecuted.  It is a wonderful thing to run to our Lord for comfort and help when we are in trouble.  I would also guess, though, that we are somewhat less likely to run to our Father when we are not in apparent trouble, or when we think that we can handle our own troubles. 

What we often fail to recognize is that we are always in trouble, and we can never handle it ourselves.  Our sin nature continually tugs at us, urging us to serve ourselves in opposition to God and others.   Our relationships are broken; we are tired; our days (and often our nights) are punctuated with guilt and regret.   And no matter how hard we try and how fast we go, we can fix neither ourselves nor our lives. 

Praise God!  We have a Father in heaven who delights in us and delights in His redemptive work in us and through us.  Thanks to Jesus’s death on the cross to cover our sins, we can enjoy a real righteousness before the God of the universe.  And we have Jesus as our Model as well as our Savior.  Jesus made no secret of His dependence upon His Father:  “Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me?  The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works.”  (Jn. 14:10).   Jesus also made no secret of the importance of His disciples depending upon Him: “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”  (Jn. 14:5). 

I can learn a lot from our daughter.  Even as I strive for excellence as I try to faithfully use the resources the Lord has given me, I must remember to remain well within shouting distance of my Daddy.

Christianity Lite or Christianity Light?

The 2014 Winter Olympic Games have recently concluded.  There were more than a few surprises during the games, but sadly, it was no surprise that controversy erupted over the judging of the figure skating events.   International figure skating competition has been marred in recent years by accusations of fixed judging, and indeed, documented instances of judges “selling” their power have surfaced.  This is nothing short of a crisis for the international skating federation, the governing body in charge of judging international skating competitions.  The sport depends on honest, unbiased judging because the world is watching.

The Bible echoes this sentiment.  Jesus teaches that His people are lights on a hill; our purpose is to be shining so that those who look—the world—can see our Lord and Master.  The Apostle Paul exhorts us to be beyond reproach, again so that we may make the grace and truth of Jesus Christ visible, tangible, and attractive to those who do not know Him.  The world is watching. 

Many Christians take this concept seriously, but some of us, and perhaps most of us at times, get seriously off track by focusing on appearances.  Knowing that the world is watching, we want to look good.  And given that we live in a culture that confuses success with appearance of success, it is very easy to buy the lie that being a “good” Christian witness means that we carefully maintain a smiling, calm, put-together look. 

What does success look like for a Christian?  I think we need to look a little deeper than appearances.  Genuine Christianity, the kind of Christianity that draws people to Christ, is more than smile deep.  Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches.  We are able to bear fruit, to live a fruitful life, only as we abide in Him, as we consistently and persistently follow our Lord and Master.  And not only is Jesus our Master, He is our Model.  We are told that Jesus was not handsome, not much to look at.  When we examine the countless interactions between Jesus and the disciples, Jesus and the Jewish authorities, and Jesus and the general public, we see anything and everything except Christianity Lite.  Jesus struggled and suffered so that He could relate to us and we to Him.  He was accompanied by a rag-tag group of disciples who would never be accepted by traditional rabbis.  Jesus and His disciples were not credentialed or polished.  Jesus often made those He encountered uncomfortable.  Nowhere do we see Jesus trying to impress anyone.

Proclaiming Christ—in what we say and do, what choices we make—is about looking good.  It is far more about being good.  The pretense of an ideal, put-together Christian life only goes so far.  Jesus taught that we are not defiled by what we put into our mouths, but rather by what comes out.  Our words are a manifestation of what is in our hearts.  When all is said and done, our actions manifest who we are, inside.  The hard truth is that looking good is not good enough.  Our Lord wants nothing short of a deep holiness in us resulting in genuine spiritual integrity.  The world is watching.

How do we achieve such holiness and spiritual integrity?  We could simply try harder: pray more fervently, focus more intently on Bible study, memorize more verses, serve on more committees.  Those activities may not be bad, but they will get us to holiness and spiritual integrity only if in the attempt we realize that we can’t do it, and that it is only by faith that we can be holy.   Our own efforts can achieve only the appearance of goodness.  If we want the “real deal” of holiness, we must depend on the work of Christ, on our behalf, in us, and through us. 

So how do we proclaim Christ to the world?  I would suggest that we worry less about how we appear and focus more on abiding in the Vine, trotting alongside our Master, and taking our cues from our Model.  There is nothing better in this life, and nothing more important.  The world is watching.

Thanking God for Johann Sebastian Bach

Today marks the birthday of Johann Sebastian Bach.  The great composer was born three hundred twenty-nine years ago.  Christians, regardless of their taste in music, can all appreciate at least one thing about Bach.  On almost every piece of music he wrote, he included the letters SDG.  SDG represents the Latin phrase, Soli Deo gloria, which means Glory to God alone.  

It is no small statement of faith that Bach, a monumental musical talent, recognized that his gifts were given him to be used not for his own purposes but for the glory of his Maker.  May we follow Bach's example and use our gifts in a manner that celebrates the glory of the Giver of all good gifts.

Welcoming March

I hate wet feet.  And during this time of year, I am threatened with cold, wet feet quite often.  March is a transition month, taking us from winter to spring.  In New Jersey, though, the transition is not always evident.  Cold, grey, and wet weather often continues through March in a most discouraging manner.  Most of us keep going, bolstered by the hope of Spring.

It seems to me that this is yet another illustration of faith and the hope that only faith can generate.  According to the author of Hebrews, faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen.  When we trudge through the slush in March, we can be hopeful because we know that regardless of appearances to the contrary, warm and sunny weather is ahead.  Even though we cannot see that warm and sunny weather, our experience with past springs has provided us with enough evidence to give us confidence that Spring will come.

Our spiritual lives are not so different from the way we deal with the weather.  There are “Marches” in our spiritual lives—times of transition, times that are dreary and discouraging.  But because we know a loving, faithful, and sovereign God, we can be confident that He will redeem our trials and bring glory and joy out of our struggles.  As we experience and remember God’s faithfulness in our lives, we can have hope in hardship not because we are particularly strong and capable, but because our lives are in the hands of a redeeming God.  May we encourage one another in the “Marches” of our lives.